Take A Note On That
by Tyanyu
Summary: A suicide note from one of the Frontier kids. Not for the weak of heart. Yaoi, incest
1. Letter To All

**Author**: *sighs* Well, this is a pretty dark fic. And there is some yaoi, and a bit of incest.

Don't read if you don't like suicide notes.

I'm not gonna tell you who is writing this until the end.

!@!@!

He turned on his typewriter. Then, rolling in another sheet of paper, he started typing…

_'Dear me;_

_I'm sick of life. I'm just sick of it. What a huge hundred-year waste of time. I haven't thought of how I'm going to do it, but I've chosen suicide as one of my life's options._

_I could use a knife, slit my wrists or throat, but I hate the sight of blood._

_I could also smother myself, even though I don't know quite how. _

_I can throw my hairdryer in the bathtub and go in. The shock of electricity would kill me for sure. But I'm too afraid I might scream. I want a quick and easy death._

_Easy._

_There are so many ways to commit suicide that it's hard to choose. The topic of death depresses me. I've seen death take my family members away. I wonder how my friends and family would take my suicide._

_Hmm. _

_That makes me wonder._

_If I die, I'll see just how many friends I really had._

_How stupid of me. I forgot to open a stupid firewall program on the computer. Well, that makes me feel like shit. After my mom gave me the third degree, she promptly grounded me._

_Ha._

_That's fair._

_You'd think she didn't care for me. I wonder, has she ever?_

_She has._

_She had to have once, right?_

_Kouji just called. He wanted to go for a walk across the park. I told I didn't want to go. I just nearly broke out in tears again, right on the phone._

_Pathetic. _

_To think, one honest mistake and I'm Japan's #1 idiot._

_Great._

_If I ever forget this, my dream job was to be a married couple counselor for homosexual males. I never knew where this job came from, but it sounds…_

_Unique._

_I'm not going to tell out anymore of my dreams, except that I wanted to become a singer.  Sounds weird for a boy to want to be a singer alone, ne?_

_Alone._

_That's how I grew up. _

_My mom would try to play games with my mind. One time she's a goofball trying to be "cool", the next she's in mom-mode and is the enemy._

_Did I ever have anyone to turn to?_

_Nope._

_There are a lot of people I care about. A lot._

_Oh, the phone. I'm not going to answer it. It's probably not for me anyways._

_Kouji, I'm sorry I never kept contact with you. I was dealing with stuff. Stuff you probably wouldn't understand. _

_I need to tell you. _

_For the absolute longest time I've liked you. Yea, I admit it. I'm gay and I'm fucking attracted to you._

_I'll write you a separate letter explaining that. But for now, I'll try in this letter. I know what my mom will think when she reads this._

_The truth is, Kouji, I'm always imagined what you'd look like nude. Imagining you hot sweaty nude body atop mine, making love to each other. I'd imagine the moans you'd make and the screams you'd yell._

_It's the kind of thing that would make anyone loose his or her lunch or sanity. _

_Yeah, I feel that way. _

_Amazing isn't it?_

_Life is hard to understand, too hard. _

_My life._

_I imagine my passing like this:_

_I'll cry when I cut myself. _

_Then I'll stop to think of my life and it's great times. _

_I'll then ask myself, "Why would I do such a thing?" _

_I'll then put my knife away, dress my wound and then crawl into bed, sleeping it all off._

_I wonder…_

_Will this happen tomorrow?_

_I'll never know. I also wonder, if I cried on this typewriter, would my salty tears conduct electricity?_

_Maybe._

_I'm crying now.'_

The boy stared at the writing he wrote.

And with that, a tear landed on the finished page…

…of Kouichi Kimura's suicide note.

~owari

!@!@!

Author: Do you think a person would write such a suicide note without thinking that? I wrote it for me, but I thought of writing for a character of Frontier. 

I know what you're thinking… no your beloved author is not going to die.  I'm going to stick it out until I see the counselor next time. I just went today.

I'm pretty down in the dumps right now. 

But as always, R & R! 

Should I write out Kouichi's letter to Kouji for another chapter? What do you think?


	2. Letter To You

**LF**: It's kind of a small second chapter. This is for all those people who wanted the letter from Kouichi to Kouji. So… um… here it is!

**Disclaimer:** I'm here to say I don't own Digimon, Kouji or Kouichi or well… yeah…

Kouji arrived home from kendo practice in the late afternoon on Sunday. He went to his room to put away his stuff when he spotted an envelope on his bed. Curious of what it was, he went over and sat on the bed. He opened the envelope and started to read…

_'Dear Kouji,_

_It's no doubt you're wondering what a letter would be doing on your bed when I could just email you. But I know this way is much more personal._

_I'm not really or truly sure of how to tell you this. You might not want to hear this._

_I'm giving you the opportunity right now as I write this to stop reading. _

_Kouji…_

_For the longest time, I've been in love with you._

_If you've read this far, I'm pretty surprised. _

_I'd have thought you'd have just stopped when I told you to._

_Kouji, do you love me back? _

_Or is it someone else?_

_I know you're thinking you don't love anyone, but everyone loves someone._

_Love…_

_I looked it up in dictionary. It said, "to have great affection for"_

_It doesn't say anything sexual. I don't want to have sex with you. That's not what I meant when I said I loved you._

_Love to me, is to care for someone._

_I love you._

_And if you come to the beach by 5:30, I'll tell you that in person._

_And you can tell me yourself too._

_Love, Kouichi Kimura.'_

Kouji slowly put down the letter, trying to regain himself. 

He looked over at his digital clock. It read "5:19".

Kouji decided he'd leave now.

~*~

Kouichi sat on the soft sand at the beach, waiting for his brother. In one hand he had a small box, containing a gift for Kouji. In the other, he had a small dagger he had just purchased at a knife store.

"Kouichi!"

Kouichi looked up to see his brother running towards him. 

"Hey…" Kouji greeted as he sat down beside Kouichi. 

"You came… I though you wouldn't…" Kouichi replied.

"Why not?" Kouji asked him.

"Because I told you I love you." came the simple reply.

Kouji thought about it. 

'If he really loves me like he says he does, I should love him back, right? But now, I'm not sure. Man, love is sure confusing!'

"Kouji…" Kouji looked up from his thinking to his brother.

"Yeah?"

"…Do you love me?"

Kouji looked away. "I'm not sure yet. I do wish I knew, but love is confusing."

Kouichi just nodded. 

"I love you, Kouji…" he said softly, half-hoping that his twin hadn't heard that.

"I love you too, Kouichi."  Kouji replied. 

Kouichi looked at him in disbelief. 

Kouji smiled and kissed Kouichi on the cheek. 

He smiled back.

"Hey Kouichi…you okay?" Kouji asked.

"I am now.." he replied.

~*~*~OWARI~*~

LF: I didn't like the ending.

Baby Wolf: I liked it, why didn't you?

LF: Shut it. Anyways, thank you for reading this! Wow, I finally got off my lazy butt and did this! 

BW: what do you want, a medal?

LF: *sighs* Bad mood, ne?

Review if you will, plz!


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